A friend posted something from E! Online about Khloe Kardashian’s “slow aging ranking” on her Facebook feed last week (and made a very funny joke about it). Yes, it’s clickbait garbage. Plus, it had the intended effect because she laughed about it, and now I’m here sharing it with you.
Hot secret…
Everyone ages at the same rate. The next day you are one day older than the day before.
It’s crazy how this works!
The story about Khloe’s genetic non-aging anomaly happened to pop up in my feed shortly after I had just done an amazing interview for my podcast with Karen Walrond, which just so happened to be… about aging.
More specifically, we talked about how to reclaim the joy and power that comes with aging, especially as a woman, and how that begins, in part, with taking stock of the things we do and say that inadvertently diminish that joy and power.
Since I heard Walrond speak about her award-winning and truly wonderful book at her book launch in NYC last October, Radiant Rebellion: Defeat age, practice joy and let some hell looseI am much more aware of the things we (I) think and say that belittle people simply because of their age.
Oops, old age.
Wow, you were born after 9/11? You’re a baby!
You look great for your age!
Yes, I know the entire lyrics of Forever Young because I’m OLD
So…turn 29 again? *wink wink*
Why don’t (older politicians you don’t like, regardless of their abilities and effectiveness) finally retire?
How is it possible that anyone born in 2002 can legally drink alcohol?
Look at this guy – can you even believe we are the same age?
I’m not getting older, I’m getting better.
I still cringe when I think of my children’s father saying, “Okay, Grandma,” every time I turned on Sirius/XM 1st Wave in the car. Or how he would laugh, “Sorry if I don’t want to listen to Ella Fitzgerald. I’m not 100.”
Our age difference was his favorite insult when he needed one.
I was 35. He was 27.
But to be fair, he didn’t invent “Grandma” or “Grandpa” as an insult. And I accepted it as such.
Because it’s everywhere, isn’t it? Shouldn’t we rethink that?
If we disagree with a group of college students expressing a political opinion, what more effective way to protest than saying, “Oh, please, they’re just kids,” or “Grow up.” Using age alone as a reason to dismiss a person’s mindset, contributions, and values is just lazy.
We are all at least a little bit ageist sometimes. It is so internalized that, like internalized racism or sexism, Walrond reminds us, we must work hard to recognize it, identify it, and filter it out in order to find joy again.
So I’m working on it.
Thank you, Karen.
I still miss my 21-year-old collagen-producing superpowers. I miss my breasts staying up all on their own. I miss my ability to accept a weekday dinner invitation at 9:30 p.m. and still make it to work in the morning. I miss believing that I had decades left for my 401(k) account to continue its happy trajectory and make me a millionaire. (Thanks for crushing that dream for all of Generation X in 2000, W.) I miss my fast metabolism. I miss knowing the name of every Grammy winner by sight. And yes, I get a little agitated when people say, “You don’t look your age” or “Wait a minute… you’re old enough to have a kid in college??”
So yeah, I’m working on it.
But.
I bet if my mid-20s self knew what my current self has accomplished, I would be jumping out of my documents and excited in so many ways that I would be here one day.
Liz Gumbinner is a Brooklyn-based writer, award-winning creative director at an ad agency, and OG mom blogger who was described as “sometimes funny” by an enthusiastic anonymous commenter. This is a lightly edited version of a post that originally appeared on her Substack, “I’m Walking Here!”, where she covers culture, media, politics, and parenting.
Header image: Unsplash+ with Philip Oroni.
