Gay couples are more likely to move to big cities on the U.S. coasts, while lesbian couples tend to prefer smaller, more rural cities or towns, according to 2020 census figures that confirm some preconceived notions about LGBTQ+ communities in the U.S.
The counties with the highest concentration of male same-sex couple households include San Francisco, Manhattan, Boston and Washington, DC, according to a U.S. Census Bureau report released last week.
Some of the highest concentrations of same-sex female couple households were in Hampshire and Franklin counties in the Berkshires, a rural region of western Massachusetts that is home to several colleges, art museums and theaters. Also included in the count were counties that include Portland, Oregon; Asheville, North Carolina; and Ithaca, New York, home to Cornell University and Ithaca College.
King County has a high proportion of same-sex couples
King County, Washington State, where Seattle is located, did not rank in the top 10 states with the highest concentration of same-sex couples in the United States, but the county did make it into the top 10 in terms of the total number of gay and lesbian couples.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau report, King County has the fifth most households headed by lesbian couples (7,245) and the seventh most households headed by gay couples (8,969) of any county in the country. According to the census, there are a total of 917,764 households in King County.
Each of them represents less than one percent of all households in the county, which is roughly equivalent to the rest of the country.
The city of Seattle has been widely considered one of the most LGBTQ+ friendly cities in the country for several years.
However, a 2023 Seattle Times article told the story of the challenges faced by many LGBTQ+ people in Seattle. In particular, the article highlighted the high cost of living and the “rapidly changing characteristics of ‘gayborhoods'” like Capitol Hill, which together “make life in the city undesirable and often untenable, if not impossible.”
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Why the locations are not surprising
The locations in the United States are not really surprising because they correspond to cultural stereotypes that gays are city dwellers and lesbians are nature lovers, says Crissi Dalfonzo, director of the Center for LGBT Education, Outreach and Services at Ithaca College.
“Stereotypes often exist for a reason, but they can be problematic because they can take away individuality,” Dalfonzo said.
Gender pay inequality may also be a factor. Experts say some of the differences may be due to the fact that male couples have higher incomes and can live in more expensive big cities, while female couples are more likely to raise children.
“Large urban areas are generally more expensive and less child-friendly than suburban and rural areas, so it’s understandable that female couples would choose less urban areas,” said Gary Gates, a retired UCLA demographer who has studied LGBTQ+ issues.
The differences play into some traditional stereotypes, but could also come down to where male and female couples feel most comfortable: whether it’s the sense of community or safety in smaller towns or the security of the “gayborhoods” in big cities, says Amy Stone, a sociology professor at Trinity University in San Antonio.
“This is where people feel safe and find support. Where gay couples feel safe and where female couples feel safe are not always the same places,” Stone said.
Stone attended Amherst College in Hampshire County, Massachusetts, in the Berkshires, which is also home to the University of Massachusetts Amherst and two traditionally all-women’s colleges, Smith College and Mount Holyoke College. According to the 2020 census, the borough had the largest percentage of same-sex couple households in the United States, at nearly 4%. Over the decades, it has been home to lesbian music and film festivals, as well as numerous lesbian businesses and cultural institutions.
“Everyone knew it was a place where lesbians often stayed after graduating,” Stone said. “There have been a lot of lesbian institutions there for a long time.”
At nearly 6%, San Francisco County had the largest share of male same-sex couple households.
There was some overlap among the 10 cities and counties with the largest share of same-sex couple households — Washington, D.C.; Richmond, Virginia; and St. Louis. Rounding out the list of same-sex couple households with men were counties or municipalities where New Orleans, Denver, Atlanta, and Fort Lauderdale, Florida, reside. For same-sex couple households with women, the list included the county where Decatur, Georgia, a suburb of Atlanta, and Baltimore reside.
In terms of numbers, Los Angeles County was at the top for both types of same-sex couples, but with over 10 million residents, it is also by far the most populous county in the United States.
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Learn more about changes to the U.S. Census
In its current form, the decennial census only counts LGBTQ+ people if they live together as spouses or partners, through household relationship queries. This is estimated to be only about one-sixth of the LGBTQ+ population in the U.S. As a result, it does not count people who are single or not living together, nor transgender people.
Only in the last decade has the Census Bureau added the relationship categories “same-sex” and “opposite-sex” to spouses and unmarried partners in its surveys and census.
The Census Bureau is currently considering adding questions on sexual orientation and gender identity for people ages 15 and older to its annual American Community Survey, the agency’s most comprehensive survey of American life.
Gay couples are very present in Broward County, home to Fort Lauderdale, where both the police chief and mayor are gay, said Keith Blackburn, chairman of the Greater Fort Lauderdale LGBT Chamber of Commerce.
“It’s the warmth and acceptance that everyone in Broward County brings to our community. We have many openly gay officers,” Blackburn said. “You see same-sex couples holding hands everywhere.”
Contributors: The Associated Press; Steve Coogan
